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Feeling Formed

Think about her adult formation, a young woman on the beach isgetting "kisses" from a dog
The "adult formation" that takes place during your 20s is sometimes tumultuous and, frankly, exhausting. And it's normal.

I’ve been hanging around the Boundless world almost since Boundless started. Seriously, at one point I was the proud owner of a print copy of “The Best of Boundless,” done up to commemorate the site’s first anniversary in 1999. And I picked that one up when it was hot off the press. I’ve contributed an article here and there, and popped in for a podcast or two. Now I’m glad to be joining the ranks of Boundless bloggers and having some good conversations with you all.

Here’s one reason I’m excited about starting these discussions: Having survived my 20s, I look back and realize how monumental that decade was to who I am as an adult. I just wish someone had told me two things about the 20-something decade:

1) The “adult formation” that takes place during your 20s is sometimes tumultuous and, frankly, exhausting. And it’s normal. It’s the work we’re supposed to be about.

2) All of that tumult eventually comes to an end, thank God.

I was taken by surprise on both counts. I don’t think I had fair warning that a primary goal of my 20s should be to work out, in very practical ways, my identity. On the other hand, once I was in the middle of it, it felt like the process would go on forever.

And then, one day, I realized that the dizzying motion had stopped.

I was 30 years old, and I’d been married for a little over three years. I flew to San Antonio to visit a dear friend whom I’d known since I was 13. After spending some time with the high school girls she was leading in Bible study, we started talking about how they were just beginning — in very dramatic and not very wise ways, some of them — the roller coaster of discovering who God had made them to be. And by comparison, we realized that we had finally exited that crazy cycle.

We felt … well … formed.

Not that we were finished. We both know that the Christian life is bigger than that, and God will always have something more for us. (“Higher up and further in,” as C.S. Lewis puts it.) But we no longer felt as if every day was filled with the angst of questioning, testing and proving who we were. And it felt good.

I’ve recently become a fan of Meg Jay and her work on adult formation during the 20-something years. Her research bears out what my friend and I were feeling in that early-30s memory: When we make it our business to spend our 20s making good decisions and good investments of our time and energy, it pays off. We turn into adults who are well-established in our identities. (And though Jay doesn’t say so, that’s exponentially true when our identities are founded on Christ.)

So that’s why I’m excited to be here — to walk with you through some of the identity-forming questions of your 20s. Let’s start with these: What has been the most tumultuous part of discovering who God made you to be? Is there light at the end of the tunnel for your adult formation, or do you still feel like you’ve been caught up in the wave and you can’t set your feet on the ground?

Copyright 2013 Lindy Keffer. All rights reserved. 

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About the Author

Lindy Keffer

Lindy Keffer is very fond of her preschool daughter and toddler son, who are worth every ounce of energy it takes to keep up with them. Her husband makes videos for a living and helps with the dishes, which makes her smile. Her favorite thing about living in Colorado is 300-plus days of sunshine per year.


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