Making the Most of Your Single Years

happy red-head young woman holding a dog
Being single can be agonizing. Going to weddings alone. Awkwardly navigating small talk at holiday gatherings. Explaining over and over again why “a pretty girl like you” is still single.

The duration of singlehood can be difficult, but it can also be an incredible time to grow. While spending quite a few years of my life as a single, waiting to meet the man who is now my husband, I decided to make much of my singleness. I invested my energies into building strong friendships, serving others and growing closer to my Creator.

Intentionally build friendships.

I was lonely when I was single. I longed for a companion who I could see, hear, touch and share my life. My heart craved for someone to pursue the Lord alongside myself. I wanted to share my faith, mission and goals with a partner.

So I sought to fill this loneliness by intentionally seeking deep friendships. I interacted with fellow believers on a weekly basis. My home became a shelter for needy acquaintances and hungry comrades. What I lacked in a romantic relationship, I gained in unique friendships — friendships that I would not have had time for if I had been dating.

Developing deep friendships and seeking to show someone else the love of Christ is always time well spent.  And by forging meaningful friendships while you’re single, you’ll have a support group to encourage and guide you when you begin a romantic relationship.

Find opportunities to serve others.

While I waited for God to provide the spouse I longed for, I decided to fill my loneliness with service opportunities. No longer having the distraction of a relationship, I found areas of service I had never considered before. I led a women’s Bible study, mentored high school students, and sang for multiple worship teams. I also served and attended my church’s ministry for college students.

I’m not saying it wasn’t a painful, difficult season, but by serving others, I grew in my faith. I poured out love to others and discovered our heavenly Father would then replenish it by pouring out His love on me. I found fellowship and love in those serving alongside me. My heart was full. I began to grow thankful for my singleness.

Spend time with your Savior.

No matter your relationship status, investing in your relationship with God is essential. And all strong relationships – including your relationship with God – require a great deal of time, attention and energy. If you’re single, now is probably the time you’ll have the most flexibility and freedom with your time. So spend it with your Savior. Grow close to Him.

During my single years, I spent a lot of time reading the Bible. I clung to the Word of God and cried out to God about my struggles and my loneliness. Though God didn’t directly answer my desperate pleas for clarity regarding my romantic life, I remained faithful to a routine that kept me grounded in God’s truth. I would read a passage of Scripture every day and spend time praying and reflecting on my reading. The time I spent in the Word was rich. It filled me up and grew me closer to Christ. And as an added benefit, by establishing daily reading, reflection and prayer as part of my routine while I was single, it was easier for me to continue this practice once I entered a dating relationship.


Make the most of your single years. Use them to develop meaningful friendships, to serve others, and, most importantly, to grow closer to Jesus. For whatever reason, God has given you this time to be single — so use it to His glory.

Bailey Bomar blogs about living the Christian life. Her passion for leading an impactful life and practical tips for following Christ can be found at ThisIllustriousLife.com.

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